Will I get a day of rest?

We all know Sundays are not a day of rest for Pastors. Saturdays are not a day of rest for church planters (because church planters are usually doing the job of 10 people, so no matter how much you plan in advance, you STILL have to do something on
Saturday). So, last week, I'd been pretty busy, didn't have a break, and usually, after Sunday, I chill out on Mondays. But, I can't relax today, Monday, because we changed our life group meeting to tonight. So, I have to clean house. My body is soo tired! I was grouchy all day. And dh is amazingly cheerful. We had 65 yesterday, at church. But, there were 3 decisions for Christ made! Praise the Lord!

So, I'm complaining, anyway, to dh. And the phone rings. Someone is interested in attending our church. First time I ever got a call out of the blue, like that. Another call I get is from someone who saw a website I created and wants me to create theirs! My first paying job! Dh cheerfully says, "there's good news even on days when you're tired!" And then, 9 people came tonight - half were teens from our neighborhood. Oh, the teen who stole our car has been coming regularly. He's been a huge help. I think he's enjoying himself, too. These teens who came to life group meeting said they are coming Sunday. We'll see.

There are so many jobs that we are filling in, and there aren't enough people coming to relieve us of those jobs, yet. YET, we are really seeing huge impacts - salvation decisions, already. Teens that we'd been hanging around, coming around. And, anyone we tell that about 70-75 people attend - they are thrilled for us! They feel that's a good number. It seems so small to me. But, at least we are seeing results - I'd rather it be small, and we see new visitors every time, and people getting saved every time - than lots of people and no decisions being made.

How to handle a passive-aggressive

Yes, I *am* passive aggressive! I've been really ticked at dh for a couple of reasons. I've been seeing myself work like crazy on church stuff, and he's been "handing off" stuff to me - to order, to make a design decision, etc. So, that's fine, until every time I catch him, he's playing a computer game! Grrr. I mean, I never wanted to church plant in the first place, and if he wanted a snooze job, he could've just chosen to stay OUT of ministry, for all I care.

So, anyway, I've been sorting and cleaning the house nonstop the past 2 days. By suppertime, I had nothing made and the boys made themselves bologna sandwiches. I made myself oriental soup. I purposefully chose not to make dh anything. I guess a part of me feels, if he can slack off on church stuff and expects me to pull my share of the church load, I can slack off home stuff and expect him to pull his share of the home load.

But, alas, dh does NOT fuss at me! If he said anything, I would've blasted him. Nope, he just walks out the door, picks up McD's and comes back and eats it. THEN, he hands me 2 candy bars he bought for me. GRRR! I can't even fuss at him!

Your Core Team is like Scaffolding

That's what's been quoted to me by dozens of people who planted churches. Meaning, a core team is there, right at the beginning to help you get started, but for various reasons, they leave by the end of the first year. Our district leader warned us of it, and other church planters told me it had happened to them. Usually, you lose half of your core team during the first few years.

So, I'm on the lookout, and I see evidence of this coming true. First, although we're great friends w/the core team members, they haven't completely "bought" the whole vision. Dh wants to use the LIFE groups as the accountability/discipleship arm of our church. That means, everyone, especially leadership needs to be a part of it. Yet, only a couple from our core team are actually a part of a life group.

Second, a core team member who tends to blurt out anything and everything reminded me that she only committed to 3 mths. She told me this for the first time AFTER she spent a whole evening w/a bunch of the core team that had decided to visit another church on Saturday evenings to get "fed." Of course, first, that tells me they don't feel fed by my dh. Second, it also tells me they'll continue to compare him to another larger church's pastor, which is definitely frustrating on our part. Anyway, I just feel that THEY are talking about when they leave, but not to our faces. I get the sense that they are just "biding their time."

Do I have any problems with this core team? No way. They are ALL such hard workers, and when they say, they'll be somewhere, they are. They also work hard at finding creative ways to help the church grow. BUT, they themselves are not interested in making friends with the new regulars. I see them be nice, but not really friendly. I really sense that this is not where they plan to put down their roots.

I'm trying to deal with all of this. It's been growing, and becoming more of a certainty that what I sense is truly the case. Dh feels the same way. And he's not a feelings person. He's very objective, and he has often been able to analyze a situation and tell me exactly what the outcome will be. I don't remember a time he was wrong.

This is really hard for me to face. I'm trying to not feel hurt about it. People WARNED me that the whole core team doesn't stay! I also know that God takes care of us, so I shouldn't worry that they'll leave before we're able to handle the loss. But, we'll have to let them go, peaceably - send them out with love, and grow, right here, where God placed us, with the vision He gave us. Why are there so many goodbyes in ministry? Only Heaven is perfect.

84 in church, today, our 7th Service

Nothing feels better than hanging out on the 'puter, knowing you did everything you were supposed to for the Sunday service. Yesterday, after we got home from the car wash, I worked on our church website, which needed updating. We switched over to a server called christiandesigns.org. They offer lots of "stuff" like chatboards, discussion boards, statistics on who's visiting your site - it's awesome! Also, pretty inexpensive, about $8 per month, prepaid for the year.

I worked on my children's church lesson, and then, dh's powerpoint presentation for his message.

Usually, I get Monday off, because nothing is pressing except homeschooling my 2 kids. But, tomorrow, I have to clean house because we'll have our LIFE group meeting tomorrow evening.

I have definitely come to the conclusion that it's IMPOSSIBLE to do ALL:
1- start a church (or help your dh start a church)
2- homeschool your kids
3- have a part-time home business
4- have homecooked meals
5- volunteer in the community, (such as tutoring, Tball coach, foster care)
6- date your dh and have quality family time
7- keep the house clean

It's impossible to do ALL of that. I've been trying for the past month and it's not working.

Out of the above list, we've definitely done #1, 3, and 5. I'm supposedly doing 2, but I'm not giving them the time they need because I'm doing 3. Because we've had several LIFE group meetings at our house, I've been keeping 7, but have not been doing 4 - I think we ate fast food 5x last week. So, we have been volunteering in the community, but dh and I haven't been on a date in 2 months, now. *sigh* what's harder than choosing between good and bad, is choosing between better and best.

DOing Children's Church? Here's what we're doing

We're not having Sunday School. I like Sunday school, but I think it should occur after the service, and I think it should be called something else, like LIFE groups after church. So that people don't think of it the same way they normally do.

But, we're not doing that, right now. We do have a children's program during the church service. We've divided up the ages for 2 reasons: 1- children DO learn better with others similar in age-range. 2- if we're expecting many unchurched people - the unchurched expect age-appropriate activities because our society as a whole has that. So, whether we agree philosophically or not, it's what our society does, and we need to do what's most comfortable and familiar for the unchurched.

Now, having just said that, we don't have any class for the 3rd through 5th graders, nor anyone older than that! It's not because we don't want to, it's because we don't have enough adult workers. So, one day, we will. For now, the way we handle it is, we give out clipboards with message-related activity sheets (I get them from Calvarychapel.org). When the kids return the clipboards, if any one of their sheets is filled out, they get candy!

We've been using Group publishing's "Hands-on" curriculum. I *love* it! They mainly use reproducibles, and they give you an outline of your classtime. Each activity (most are games) reinforces the one theme/lesson for the day. The games are fun, and the kids are not sitting still being bored by a long lesson. I also include video clips of the Bible story we highlight. I get the videos by doing a search on Netflix, and then rent that video! Kids these days are naturally attuned to videos. We may not like that that's all they have/do, but instead of fighting it, use it!

So far, all the kids that do come into our class have told their parents "that's the best class - I want to come back." It's nice to hear that! Last week, a teenager taught the class, so it's not the teaching ability - it's the activities.

This is how we handle security. Every 1st time attender fills out a registration card. Then, every week, ALL students must "check-in" Each student fills out a sheet that has their number, name, and parent's name. Quick and easy stuff. The number is laminated and masking tape is on it with the number. When a student checks in, he gets his name put on the masking tape and it gets put on the child. The parent receives the laminated number. The parent obtains his child at the end of class by giving the teacher the laminated number. Supposedly, if a child gives us issues, we contact soundboard people and they flash the number on the screen. Also, very soon, we will have every teacher and helper who is in class fill out a background check form. I'll be talking to someone who I believe is a notary public, so we can get it all done there and file it immediately. All of this, we copied from another church. :0)

Dollar Car Wash is a must DO

Today, our "in the community" event was a dollar car wash. We advertised in the paper and had posterboard signs "Car Wash $1" However, the trick is, they don't pay you the dollar, you give THEM a dollar.

We washed a little over 20 cars in 2 hrs. We got about 8 contact information and handed out our church info to all of those who came. The best part was seeing their reaction when we told them, no, we were giving THEM a dollar! People didn't even WANT to take a dollar from a church, lol. It was great. The thing is, everyone leaves with a great feeling about our church, and they will tell someone else.

I prayed that God would send people "ripe unto harvest." We were "laboring" out there and only He can send them to us. So, one college student began talking to me. She said she isn't a Christian and hadn't grown up with any religion, but she was really beginning to seek out her spiritual side. She asked me a lot of questions about what our church believed. She even asked me bluntly, what we believed about homosexuality. I told her that we felt it was like a person who deals with alcohol addiction or drug addiction. It's an area that's no worse than anybody else's, but it is an issue that only knowing God could solve. She then told me that she is a lesbian. I told her that I'd like to email her and discuss spiritual matters with her and she was willing! Sometimes, we must do events like these to "force" us to be where the unbelievers are.

Last Sunday, we had 77 attend our church service. I'm very happy with that. This week was sooo busy. I am really tired and still have a powerpoint presentation to work on and children's church lesson. This morning, dh is the head coach of our son's T-ball team, we had a game. All of these things we do are "good" for us to be out there in our community, but it's so tiring! Sometimes, I feel like we're stretched in 10 different directions. Today, after the t-ball game, after the car wash, we were supposed to have a small group leader training session at our house. No one came. I was very relieved!

God to the rescue, again!

I'd been working on a design for our Mother's Day mailing and our whole core team HATED it! I work like crazy designing the thing and then I got nothing but "that's strange, ditch it!" So, aside from trying to keep my feelings getting hurt, I asked for more input on WHAT they wanted as the mother's day postcards. One core team member emailed me and said, "Are you still using that card because I know of at least 4 people who don't like it..." So, reading that email got me furious! I could've just pictured all of them saying, "the pastor's wife HAS to have her own way, blah, blah, blah..." Of course, that's probably not what they said, but who said my brain was reasonable?
SO, I just prayed and prayed the rest of the day and the next morning, that, God would help me find an alternative design which we HAD to have in by 6pm. Because we're doing these mailings, any picture we used had to be royalty-free (which, if you want a cool pic, it becomes difficult).
Early that morning, I found a picture on a weather site. I emailed the weather site to see if I could use their picture. They emailed me back saying they couldn't allow it due to copyright infringement.
Well, at the site, they'd given the full name and a zipcode of the person who submitted that picture. I searched for them on the internet and found 5 matches, none with the original first name (a woman's name). I called the one that had the accurate zipcode and prayed! I got an answering machine and told them who I was looking for and that I saw their picture, blah, blah, blah.
The lady called me back in the afternoon! That shocked me. I mean, would I call a complete stranger back? So, I explained our situation and she told me she'd send me a high-resolution picture, no problem!
I gave her our church website, and she emailed me back saying that she's a Christian too and goes to a Southern Baptist Church, also! I mean, isn't that crazy?? How God worked all of that out? And most of the core team likes THIS picture - so everyone's happy, now!
The front will say, "Behind every mess like this..."the back says "is a mom who deserves a break. Join us on Mother's Day, blah, blah, blah"

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DO use church-marketing.com for mass mailings

Some mass mailing programs require you to send out at least 10,000 mailers. Church-marketing.com is allowing us to send out 2 separate mailings of 5,000 for the price of what others charge for ONE 5000 mailing. NICE! They also print out all the addresses and bulk sort. We just simply take the boxes to the correct post offices, and we've done our part! They are even allowing us to design our own cards or edit the ones they have listed. They are a great resource!

Eh hem, my name is Tess and I'm a fidgetaholic

Ok, not really. At least I don't drum my fingers incessantly. I do pace a lot, though. Especially when I'm on the phone. I always did it. As a teen, my Dad would get so mad at me and yell "you're wearing out the carpet, cut it out!" I just rolled my eyes. My mom would see me and say, "Would you stop pacing, you're making me nervous!" What was her problem? I liked to walk while I chatted on the phone! I'd just roll my eyes.

But, life has a way of getting back at you. My dh was reading Reader's Digest (yes, he's one of its youngest readers) and it stated that fidgeters and pacers are typically THIN people. And THIN people are typically fidgeters and pacers. So, he buys himself a pedometer. And before he steps out of bed, he puts it on. It's also the last thing that comes off at night. So, how does he increase his steppage every day? He paces.

He paces while he's on the phone, he paces during commercial breaks, and he paces when I talk to him. At first, I thought that my conversation was getting really exciting to him, and he was pacing because he was thinking so deeply upon my words of wisdom. But then, I began realizing that he was just pacing because he NEEDED more steps for the day! His goal is 10,000 a day.

Now, I see him pace and it drives me crazy. All I keep on thinking is, WHY IS HE SO NERVOUS? I often misinterpret his phone calls. Someone calls, he begins pacing, I begin wondering, "Did something tragic happen? Did a major problem come up? What is he trying to figure out??" Then I realize he's just joking with a friend AND getting his steps in for the day.

As I write this, I realize that my legs are shaking. I like doing that. Dh doesn't like it when I'm sitting in the same pew as him, haha. I don't know why-he gets his own personal vibrating seat! But, man, someone watching us for a day must surely think, "WHAT are they so nervous about?" Of course, all we have to tell them is "we're starting a new church in our town." And then it makes complete sense!

Btw, we survived Daylight Savings. We knew our attendance would drop because people would get up late and say, "forget it, not going to church." Or they'd get up on time and say, "forget it, I need more sleep!" Either way, less people come to church. We had 62...and our church planting district leader came. The perfect day for him to come - we were at our best worst!

DON'T buy an Epson c84, well, maybe DO buy one, nah DON'T

I have an Epson C84 because it was cheap and it was highly rated by all the internet people who love giving their 2¢. However, I was not WARNED by how OFTEN I'd be changing my ink cartridge! I fondly remember the good ole days where if I ran out of cyan, no worry! I simply ignored it and printed everything in black. Sometimes, I ran out of black, and would choose to print everything in blue or red, just until I was able to go to the store.

So, I begin printing stuff left and right. My computer warns me that I'm running out of magenta. I glance at my document and realize I use very little magenta. I just ignore it. Not two pages later, my computer tells me it can no longer print because it ran out of magenta. I say, fine - print in black only! It adamantly tells me, it cannot print ANYTHING because I'm out of magenta. I start yelling at my computer, but realize it's really Epson - ever since they began the 2-way communication between the computer and the printer, we've been in trouble!

You would THINK you'd want 3 different cartridges for cyan, magenta, and yellow instead of one cartridge containing all 3, but now I know it's a big mistake. I find myself changing an ink cartridge at least once every few days. Oh yeah, the ink might last 2 or 3 weeks, but they never run out at the same time! So, every few days, I change ink. And I'm not allowed to print one more sheet unless the empty ink cartridge gets changed.

So, I decided, fine. If I'm going to have to buy ink cartridges left and right, I'm going to buy the staples brand because it will save me a couple of bucks for every cartridge. I'm not into quality, right now, I just want to print whenever I feel like it! So, I put in a generic brand magenta. My computer warns, "This is NOT Epson brand ink. You may encounter problems using a different brand, are you sure you want to do this?" I say, "yeah, yeah - go ahead and give me your disclaimer. I'll take my chances!" So, I print out some stuff and everything seems to be fine. Until, I turn my computer on the next morning, and discover that everything I'm printing out is a lovely shade of blue and yellow - no magenta!! I take a deep breath and discover the head cleaning utility. Ok, so I do a head cleaning. It does the trick, although ALL of the ink levels have dropped considerably! I print everything out fine, then the next morning, SAME THING! I must do a head cleaning, once again. My cyan ink level is eerily getting close to the point of no return (the point where the computer curses at me and says it will NEVER print out another sheet until I change the ink).

Next morning, I decide to create a birthday card for a family member. I don't feel like running to the store for a card, why should I when I can print out beautiful photos on my Epson C84? So I design my card and remember that magenta won't work. So, I go to do a head cleaning. Once again, my computer states it cannot do a head cleaning because there is not enough ink. WHATTTTT?!?!?! Oh yeah, the CYAN is too low. It didn't go beyond the point of no return (I see a smidgen of blue at the bottom of their virtual inktank) but it's not enough for a head cleaning, ugh! Now, I'm stuck. I can either choose to print out blue and yellow flowers for my card, or go to the store to buy EPSON brand ink cartridges. I could just see my computer saying, "didn't I warn you that you better not use a different brand?" I printed out blue and yellow flowers. I called Staples who willingly took back my faulty magenta, and I paid another $50 to get all EPSON ink.

I hate my Epson. But then, I was at a friend's house, and I don't know what printer she had, but we go to print out something simple and put it in draft mode. It took FOREVER to print it! What is the deal? So, I love my Epson. It prints so fast! But I still hate it. Epson must be like some people I know. High strung, requires only name-brand items, must be doted upon, but when you treat it right, it works hard.

DON'T have an Easter Surprise

We had 84 people for our first Easter Sunday. I teach K5 through 2nd DURING church service, but we like to come in as a class to listen to the music and then walk back out for our own lesson. My 5yo was not feeling well, so I was walking with him, holding his hand. We walked in front of everyone - the little kiddies looking adorable in a line. When, all of a sudden, my 5yo puked just as we were at our seats! Ugh! One mom grabbed my son and cleaned him up while I cleaned up the floor. I had to grab paper towels and lysol wipes so I had to go back and forth in front of everyone! I was soo embarrassed! All I kept thinking was "I'm ruining people's opportunity to worship and really concentrate on the message of the music!" BUT, we had 3 people indicate they made decisions to receive Christ that Sunday!! God worked in their hearts DESPITE such a marvelous display of the pastor's wife bringing a sick child to church, lol!