All or Nothing

I've known for quite some time that I am a perfectionist. The only thing we ever appreciate from perfectionists is the result of their projects. Everything else can be a royal pain.

I can get easily overwhelmed. I think it's because I see all the details that need to be done to get something accomplished. I see all of those details, and it overwhelms me. I realize I can't do it all, but all of it has to be done in order to get a perfect result, right? So, I simply choose not to do it. A lot of people mistakenly think that a home of a perfectionist will look perfect. Wrong. The home of a perfectionist usually looks chaotic. Some things will look perfect, but everything else will look in shambles. Why? If the perfectionist can't get the area perfect, she'd rather not do ANY of it. It's ALL or NOTHING.

So, that's where I've been with church stuff. I got overwhelmed with ALL of the spiritual issues going on in church, and I've done absolutely nothing about it. In my head, I told myself, I couldn't do it all. I can't. So, it's no use trying. So, I didn't.

That was wrong of me. God didn't ask us to BE perfect. He promised us that Jesus would complete His perfect work in us (Phil. 1:6). There's a difference. We can't be perfect no matter how hard we try. (Isaiah 64:6) Our righteous works (anything good we do) are like nasty rags. If *I* could be perfect or attain perfection, where would the glory be? It would be in ME. But, glory belongs only to God. (Jeremiah 9:23) So, God constantly uses those of us who CAN'T do it, those of us who are weak, so that we might be strong through Christ (2 Corinthians 12:8).

The ultimate purpose for ANY of us to do good is to glorify God (Matthew 5:16). When I get overwhelmed, I need to ask God to pour Himself in me. I need to ask Him to work through me. And that's what I've done. I don't have all the answers to each of those problems I listed previously. I don't have the personality, the perseverance - it doesn't come naturally to me. But, that's okay. I just need to be willing to be a Pastor's wife, because that's the role God has given me. And yeah, there are tons other people who could do a better job than I could, but that doesn't matter. If I let God work through me - it's not me that's doing the job - it's God!